Read When You Can’t Stop Worrying About What People Think

Consider someone you look up to and admire. Think about someone that you want to emulate - someone that you view as successful and impressive. Now take a moment to consider that they too, at one point or another, worried about what other people might think of them. But then somehow they pushed past that fear. 

I’m no expert, but I certainly have feared what other people would think of me a time or two. Even writing this I’m considering the thought, who am I to give advice on this topic!? 

So how can you take real steps to stop worrying about what other people think?

Grow Confidence through Discipline

Do more things to make yourself proud. Today is the day to start showing up for what you set out to do. If you’ve found yourself floundering, wishing you were more confident, maybe it’s time to take action in areas that you have not been before.

Someone telling me to ‘just be confident’ has often felt like someone telling me to just be five inches taller or just be more positive. Those things can be hard to manufacture! I have had the best luck becoming more confident in doing more things that I am proud of. Practice keeping promises to yourself, and fulfilling goals you have set. Through discipline, you might be surprised how you begin to view yourself

As we develop confidence, we in turn are able to block out the consideration that others might be judging us. 

Spend more time with people who love and support you

Say it again for the people in the back! Spend time with a loving and supportive group of people. Or, spend time looking for your people! As we spend time with others who care for us we naturally become resistant to the nagging feeling that there are all these people who don’t want to see us win. 

Word to the wise: tell people that care about you that you are worried about what other people will think. Share the thoughts in your head that you can’t put away. Give your friends, family or partner the opportunity to build you up. You’re not a bother, and you’re not alone. One thing we probably all have in common is that we occasionally get sucked into the trap of worrying about people we don’t need to. 

Don’t tell yourself a story - or, tell yourself a new story

Often when we can’t stop thinking about what other people think, we really are telling ourselves a story. We think of who is judging us, the ways in which we are being judged, and what exactly that person is thinking. It’s as good as making a movie! But we can work to write a different story. 

Work to create a different narrative that you think on when you start to spiral. When you begin to feel fear about what others are thinking, instead play your new movie. Your new movie should include people you can help with your service and encouraging words from friends. Picture your ideal client finding their way to you, or the best day you can imagine playing out in your work. Work to flip the narrative!

Practice not judging others

I know, I know… This sounds like something your mom would say. But it’s so true! If you don’t want other people to judge you, then work on not judging other people. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This goes for negative and judgemental thoughts about others too!

Wouldn’t the world be a little more beautiful if we all were kinder to each other?

Dear You,

I don’t know how to tell you this, but everyone cares a lot less than you think they do. It’s a harsh reality. Don’t allow yourself to think that there are crowds of people waiting for you to mess up so they can laugh at you and mock you. On the days when all you can think of is how other people might judge you, consider these words:

There is someone out there waiting for what you have to offer. There is someone’s life that you can touch deeply whether you’re cutting their hair, smiling at them, or redesigning their website. Do not discredit the small moments, the slow moments, the ‘I’m just doing my job’ moments. 

There is someone out there that is going to want to work with you. You might not find them tomorrow, but maybe you will. There are a million possibilities on the other side of your fear of what other people think.

You might inspire someone to chase after what they want. You might inspire someone to get out of the terrible relationship or job that they feel stuck in. You might be the brightest light in someone’s day if you simply give yourself the chance to choose faith and belief in yourself over fear. 

Always cheering you on!

Love, Eliza Kate